What do you fear?

“The sheep will spend its entire life fearing the wolf, only to be eaten by the shepherd.” African Proverb

This proverb caught my attention the other day.

I felt that if I were the sheep I would learn how to escape the enclosure (because I would get bored), yes I may get eaten by a wolf, but who knows, maybe in a pack with like minded sheep I may also live more freely and choose to live/die my own way, I may even just live a life of freedom, excitement, and independence.

Then again, I am not really a sheep…

I’d rather be a dolphin.

During this last week particularly I have felt;

ANGER, RAGE, ENVY, JEALOUSY, ANNOYED, FRUSTRATED...

Do you ever get that feeling where you just want to punch a brick wall so hard that it cracks the entire wall?

Do you ever feel this fire inside you burning so profusely that you just want to scream and let it all out? Do you ever feel like you just want to slap yourself to feel the pain inside you in a physical form so it makes more sense?

I have also felt;

SADNESS, GRIEF, SORROW, DESPAIR, MISERY, HEARTBREAK...

Do you ever feel like your chest has been torn into pieces and the pain is so deep that the only thing that helps is to weep until you’ve no tears left?

Do you ever feel like you don’t know if you can pull yourself together when tears are forming waiting to burst out at any moment in time?

Do you ever get this feeling like you don’t know whether you should cry or laugh?

In my experience and in my reality these emotions seem to all fall under the category of...

FEAR.

A fear of what? Well it could be… A fear of not being accepted, not being heard, not being worthy, not being good enough for someone to make time for you. What do you fear? I have feared many things, and I have realised that more often than not these things are something to let go of…

Often when I do let go, the magic happens and things seem to fall into place.

Often I just need to let go of that tight grip I have so strongly grasped with…

When I let go, I see the truth, I feel free and it makes sense… to me. Recently I have felt anger and sadness… through these feelings I have found my fear… well my fears. I have feared from a worldly perspective that I may easily lose my livelihood, my freedoms, my ability to make my own decisions, my freedom of choice.

I have also recently feared from a relationship perspective that I may never find love again, that I am unlovable, that I am not good enough to be in a stable relationship.

These FEARs have motivated me.

I am grateful that these fears have motivated me to make a change, to stand up for my choice, my freedoms and my ability to choose the life I want to live. I am also grateful that I have chosen to find the love within myself, to know that I am lovable and I am in a stable relationship with myself, and that’s all I need. Everything else is a bonus.

“The sheep will spend its entire life fearing the wolf, only to be eaten by the shepherd.” African Proverb

Metaphorically speaking the wolf is usually what I fear, and more often than not, this fear only becomes a reality if I allow it to.

If I swap this fear out for love, then it seems to shift the energy and my life becomes easier.

So...Who's the shepherd? Well some might say it is usually the one who manipulates our way of thinking to further create this fear within us.

The shepherd may force us to stay and follow orders.

The shepherd may also make decisions for us and well, the shepherd usually doesn’t allow us to think for ourselves.

And in my own reality I know who the shepherd/s are.

So I have chosen to organize myself.

I have chosen to continue working on myself, swapping out my fears for love instead.

I have to live the life I want, to share with others and to help those around me to live the life they want to live, if they choose to do so.

When we realize that FEAR is what lies behind our anger or sadness or grief this can motivate us to make a choice to change or to stay the same.

To make a change is to choose LOVE.

In reference to my earlier blog post;

"You make the world a better place"

We all can and we all do, it's true, we just do it in our own way.

We need to start with ourselves first... believe that we do make the world a better place, no matter how big or small, our actions do make a difference.

So, what will your action be?

Will you take action out of LOVE? OR Will you take action out of FEAR?

With love, Renée

xx