The other day I was feeling pretty grumpy and angry, you know, that feeling after a break up, or after a disagreement with someone you appreciate and value, or when someone leaves you without an explanation?
Not to say everyone has been through this, but you know, I just felt angry and grumpy, and so I sat with it, as much as I didn’t want to.
I later found out that my anger was related to my occasional fear of being unlovable. It was because I felt like I was unlovable… and in all fairness I am very lovable... Well, that’s what I like to think and believe now... and I will continue to remind myself of this.
So… back to anger. You know what this feeling told me to do… it told me to sing… I didn’t sing, I screamed along to Alanis Morissette, “Ironic”, “You Outta Know”, “Hand in my Pocket” etc.
Luckily my landlords downstairs are musical as well and understand/support my musical inclinations and self expressive desires to sing as loud as I want and to occasionally jam with them as well.
I then had a light bulb moment...
You know what I thought after my 2 hour singing/screaming at home concert with myself? I thought, this has really helped me to express my emotions in a safe space and I haven’t hurt myself or anyone else in the meantime.
I spoke to my friend about this, and they responded with,
“A music therapist uses music therapy to help herself, wow…” we laughed.
I had to laugh at myself. Sometimes I forget that I am a music therapist.
It’s interesting that these tools that I use in my everyday life help me to understand myself in a better light and improve my way of living on a daily basis.
For me, my toolbox is forever growing…
I am grateful to have access to creating music, listening to music, songwriting, writing, journaling, swimming in the ocean, bushwalking, exercising, chatting to like minded people, connecting with friends and family, spending down time by myself reading a book, practicing yoga, practicing meditation, having an ice bath or a sauna, having a magnesium soak bath, getting a massage, eating nutritious food, taking my herbal supplements to support my immune system, my hormones and my mental wellbeing, going for a walk in the fresh air, talking to animals, hugging someone close, sitting in the sun… the list goes on and on.
When it comes to self expression, I have found my own way of expressing myself in a safe space. It has made me realise, even more so, the importance of creativity and art itself, that it can provide so much in such a short moment or space in time.
When reading one of my favourite books by Julia Cameron, “The Artist’s Way”, I fell upon these two quotes;
“No matter what your age or your life path, whether making art is your career or your hobby or your dream, it is not too late or too egotistical or too selfish or too silly to work on your creativity.”
... “as we are creative beings, our lives become our work of art.”
― Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
You don’t have to be a musician, painter, singer, dancer or writer.
Just be your true authentic self, follow your heart and express however/whatever it is you feel so creatively inclined to do.